Dating

I had never really had a definition to a date. I was always puzzled by the thought.. "Is this a date? or Was that a date?" I never knew unless a guy specifically said "Would you like to go on a DATE?" and used the word date! Now every time I am asked out I think to myself, are we paired off?, Is it planned out? and is it paid for? If the answer is yes to all three of those questions I know it was a date. All the confusion was then cleared up. I also LOVED learning about the KnowQuo. 1. Time 2. Togetherness 3. Talk I truly believe that is the way to get to know someone. All dating really is is practice. We are in a state in which we are preparing to be married. We date so that we gain experience and find what we want and don't want in a spouse. It only makes sense then to only date guys you could see yourself marrying, and NOT to date guys you could never see yourself marrying. As we date we develop important skills. Skills that will be beneficial, if not necessary in marriage. I found it interesting that once you're married every single thing you own then becomes "ours" it's not longer mine, or yours.. it's ours. OUR house, OUR kids, OUR car, OUR job, OUR friends. It reminds me of the scripture that speaks of leaving the parents and becoming one. I love it! 

Wow this was a very intense week. To be honest, I never really knew my view on homosexual relationships and what the source is. I was raised catholic, and was always taught that it was a choice. Growing up, one of my mothers brothers "came out of the closet". My parents didn't want us to have anything to do with him, so  all communication with him was cut off. Then as I reached high school, I had a couple friends who were homosexual and it seemed like they always said they were born like that. I was so confused as to what I believed. I knew it wasn't right, but I didn't know if people were born like it, or whether or not it was a choice. After talking about it in class I came to realize it's a trial. Everyone has different temptations. For some this may be it. I also learned that things such as sexual abuse or a lack of a parental figure may spark something. I always knew my friends were good people. Even though they were making such choices in their lives, I never thought they were evil, like my parents had always taught us. How grateful I am for the Gospel and the knowledge it brings. We know who we are. Sons and daughters of a righteous king. We know that our genders were around even in the premortal world. Gender is not an earthly thing, it's eternal. Thanks to the proclamation to the world, we know such truths.

Immigrants

Many new things stood out to me while watching the demonstration we had in class. I always feel like our demonstrations bring situations to life. I thought about the people I knew in my life who had gone through the same type of situation. I thought about my best friend Indy. Her father left their country when she was still very young to work his way to america. After many years he had made it and earned enough money to send for his whole family to join him. I saw similar patterns take place in their family that we saw in class. Without the father present, the oldest daughter, Indy, took the responsible role and had to distribute responsibilities, coming off quite bossy. Even after they reunited with their father, Indy still kept these tendencies. It even seemed like her mom and dad came to her for advice. 

When they first immigrated I found that their parents mingled with others from their country who also migrated over. This way, even though they were in a new country they still had things that were familiar. They could speak their language, and eat their food.   

I feel that I have a much better understanding of why roles are the way they are. Each role in a family is important and if one is lacking others will need to fill the role, taking on more than one role. 

When roles change, everyone in the family is effected and even if the person absent returns, things are still different. I have noticed this with my own family. By choosing to become a member of the church, things changed drastically in my family. I feel that our relationship can be straightened, but I don't feel like it would ever be the same. 

This week I mapped my own family. It was interesting to have a visual of our relationships instead of just being in them. I feel I have a much better understanding of where we stand. There were many sub systems within my family. Different siblings have different relationships with each other. Once you can discover the relationship, I feel it's much easier to help strengthen it. For the last year and a half, I've been on my mission and haven't had much contact with my family. Coming back home I realized I don't know them at all. Espeically after mapping them out, I noticed changes need to happen in order to bring us closer together. 

While we were discussing Family rules we each have in our own families, I knew we had some, I couldn't recognize them. I found that it was a lot easier to recognize them in other families. Thanuja and I have known each other for over 10 years. I found that I could spot rules for her family because they were so different than my family. Even since class, I've been pondering on different rules my family has had.